A person just can't help but to form an opinion of the world around us. So, as you read through my often twisted take on the events around us, keep this in mind. It's just an opinion.

That crazy left hand turn lane

So, did you know that it was illegal to make a left hand turn half way across the lanes and sit in the left hand lane waiting for traffic to clear so you could complete your turn?  Well, I didn't.  In fact, I've seen people do it all my driving life.  I even remember being told by my driving instructor that if you make a turn in busy traffic that you're supposed to sit still in the left hand turn lane and not drive in it cuz driving in it will get you a ticket.

This is what I told the officer.  He argued that it's never been legal and then he left to get the driving booklet to prove it.  Left hand turn lanes are for left hand turns only.  Not for merging traffic. Well, maybe in his lifetime. He looked like he was 18 years old and he was acting like his mommy forgot to put a cupcake in his lunch.

The other trouble (although, he let me off with a warning since it seemed I caught him in an assumption) was the funeral procession.  There was a funeral procession, so when I was waiting in the left hand turn lane I figured that I'd just sit there and cool my heels until they passed.  Then, one of the drivers in the procession decided to let me in and sat there waving to me until his procession nearly left him behind. What was he thinking? I didn't have a flag. I'm sure I didn't look familiar (oh look! Isn't that your cousin's daughter? Maybe we should let her in.) Yeah, thanks for that.   I tried to ignore him, but in the end, cuz I thought I'd get into trouble for obstructing traffic, I just pulled into his lane and started to drive looking for the first opportunity to get out of the way (I can't get toothpaste and a jar of pickles from a funeral - just Meijer).

There I was in the funeral procession headed for the bridge thinking, "Wow. I wonder if they're going through lights. This could be a quick trip to Meijer." I checked the right hand driving lane to see if I could get over yet. Naturally, there was a car that kept hanging back in the lane that I wanted.  I decided that maybe I should just get over.

Hello, flashing lights.  Here comes the cop.  What?! I can't believe that car hanging back was a cop!!! Sonofab....

When he got up to the window, I asked him what was going on.  He told me that it was a pet peeve of his when people broke through funeral processions.  I explained myself (details above) and he argued that the guy only let me in cuz I was driving in the left hand turn lane.  I said that I absolutely wasn't driving in that lane.  I straightened out my van and was waiting for the procession to pass.  He said that I was blocking the driving lane and that was why the guy stopped so I could get in.  I told him that I was centered in the lane so there's no way that I could have been blocking him (forget the fact that many people passed me before this driver decided to do me a favor).  He backtracked and told me that I definitely wasn't supposed to be in the left hand lane unless I was making a left hand turn, so he needed my license and registration. 

Oh, just fine!

He went back to his car, spent about 5 minutes longer than it took to make me a nervous wreck, and then came back to give me my ticket.  He was just going to give me a warning about the funeral procession, but I still got a ticket for the left hand turn lane abuse.  I took the ticket.  He asked me if I understood the law now.  I said I did and then he had the nerve to say, "could you hand me my booklet pages back, not many people know about this law and I'm sure I'll need these again."

One thing.... I have a clean record.  Just a mom on her way to Meijer.  He couldn't float me on a first offense against a law that hardly no one knows about?

Forget Meijer.  I was too upset to run in for a jar of pickles and a tube of toothpaste.  I just went home.

So, word to the wise.  Don't try to make a left out of any parking lot and wait in the left hand lane for traffic to clear so you can get over.  From the looks of things, it's worth $150 bucks.

As I read the list of possible offenses on the ticket envelope, I came across things that I didn't even know existed. So, to help everyone out, I've included them below.

Update!!! I sent my letter of explanation along with my check. Their prosecuting attorney's office mailed paperwork for a lesser plea to me. In short, the end result is that I paid $150 for "double parking." That means no points for me and they still get their money and that's what it's all about anyway, isn't it?

*Seagoe, May V., Learning Characteristics of Gifted Children, National/State Leadership Training Institute on the Gifted and Talented, administered by the Ventura County Superintendent of Schools, Ventura, California.

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